I have come to believe, in the depths of my heart and with every fiber of my being, that God is Good. All the time. I believe that all the time, God is Good.
Do I believe it when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping and there’s a smile in my heart? Of course! When life is good, work is steady, loved ones are healthy, laughter is plentiful, and problems seem few, I can say with great conviction, and profound gratitude, that God is good! Easy-peasy-mac-and-cheesy! God is good!
But what about when that same sun is hidden by ferocious-looking clouds, and the wind is swirling and howling, and the rain is pouring down…and I’m caught out in it all without an umbrella?? What then? Can I still sing God’s praises and profess God’s Goodness?…or am I more likely to be found expressing something else to God, something much less reminiscent of the hills in Austria that are alive with the sound of music, and more, of a bunch of sailors caught in a storm at sea?? In those moments, can I still say–with the same amount of conviction and gratitude–that God is good? all the time? I want to…. I want to believe that I can….
No matter the storm in my life, I want to believe that I believe that all the time, God is good….
When my energy level lags so that I have to choose between seeing a friend and taking a shower, or between exercising and going to the grocery store, or between doing the laundry and taking a nap, I want to believe that God is good.
When I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I take it out on my kids, and when I am angry at God for not “fixing” my sick-and-tired-ness but take it out on my husband, I still want to believe that God is Good.
When I see one of my children suffering…when I see any child suffering…when I see a beloved child of God–of any age–being hurt by another of God’s children, or just being hurt by Life…I still want to believe that God is Good.
When I feel like I’m living in a world where there is more insincerity than intregrity, more judgment than understanding, more condemnation than forgiveness, more hatred than love, I desperately want to believe, still, that God is Good.
And I believe that I do believe that God is Good, all the time….
I have to believe that the Goodness of God is not dependent on the “goodness” of the circumstances of my life, or of the lives of those around me, or even the condition of the world, at any given moment. It cannot be. That would make God too small. It would be like a child determining the “goodness” of her parent based on how often the parent gave her what she wanted. I have known children like that, and I very well may have been a child like that…but now, as a parent myself, I see the misguidedness, the childishness, of that kind of thinking. I cannot make God’s Goodness contingent upon my happiness. I need to believe that God is good, all the time…that all the time, God is Good. And I believe that I do believe that….
But I can’t just believe it.
I can’t just say it.
I have to claim it.
I have to live it….
What might that look like? Stay tuned…. 🙂